An Abusive Relationship Can Creep Up on You

 

Imagine you went on a first date with someone who was sarcastic, nasty, disparaging towards you. It's hard to believe that you would agree to a second date. Yet an abusive relationship can creep up on us and have us gradually accepting that behaviour, justifying it, perhaps even feeling that we are in some way responsible for it happening.

The abuser often couches their behaviour subtly; they may claim they are trying to help us improve, are encouraging us to remedy a perceived failing or flaw.

It is often sexual abuse that gains the most media coverage but abuse also covers physical, emotional and mental cruelty and can be experienced by people of either gender, age, in any strata of society. It's important for us to become aware if escalating patterns of unacceptable, sustained bad treatment start to appear.

- Abuse is often about control. The abuser may be insecure, afraid of losing you, fearful that you'll find someone better, so they try to hold onto the relationship by increasingly checking where you're going, what you're doing, how you're spending your money, how you dress.

Often an abuser will try to make you increasingly dependent and reliant on them. They may discourage you from working; they earn enough, why not take a break, why not take time to think about doing something else? It can be a seductive, attractive process where you feel cared for, loved, supported but over time you gradually lose your financial independence, career, friends, even family.

- Emotional abuse often starts by establishing a cosy 'us against the world' scenario where you're assured that you're all they have/need/want. At first you feel loved and secure, safe in the loving bubble of warmth and protection. Gradually you'll find you spend less time with friends, especially if it becomes an increasing hassle to make arrangements, they are regarded as a bad influence or your family is accused of being unfriendly or interfering.

Over time it becomes harder to make plans to see 'outsiders'. You may find that when you try to make plans they often clash with 'special' or 'important' functions you're required to attend, or there is an insistence in dropping you off and picking you up, where they return earlier than agreed. This in itself may be fine. You justify the behaviour as friendly, sociable, helpful, but combined with negative remarks about your clothes, hair, makeup you may gradually start to lose any confidence in yourself.

Some abusers become so controlling that they methodically check every financial transaction and request for money, query every call or text on the itemized phone bill, undertake daily mileage checks on your car, phone or return home at unexpected times to see what you're doing. If you try to challenge their behaviour they will justify themselves logically and reasonably, even making you feel guilty, apologetic at having questioned their motives.

- Physical abuse often starts with a tap, a push, an angry slap. Sometimes alcohol is involved. The perpetrator is often seriously contrite afterwards, promising never to repeat their behaviour. It's important to be firm with them, discuss what's happened and insist that thy seek help, perhaps to specifically deal with anger or alcohol related issues. Keep a diary of abusive behaviour, try to save money in a secret account and have a safe place where you know you can escape to if you become afraid.

- Sexual abuse can involve gradual but increasing degradation; the pressure to do things, engage in practices you find off-putting, unpleasant, painful or humiliating. You may be accused of being frigid, a prude, old-fashioned but whilst it can be fun to experiment and explore sex together, a relationship should be about both parties feeling comfortable and moving at a pace that is fine for them both.

Start as you mean to go on is an important message for new relationships. Keep regular channels of communication open between you and be sure to discuss any areas you feel unhappy about. Be firm and refuse to be bullied into doing things you don't want to do. You're allowed to change your mind even if you've gone along with things previously.

If you're beginning to feel uneasy in your relationship find an ally, a friend, a therapist with whom you can confidentially discuss matters. It may be that you're being over-sensitive, feeling vulnerable, or past experiences have made you ultra-cautious. Even so, you're entitled to consideration and respect, to have your concerns listened to. Is there a place you could go to de-stress, to take a break, giving you both time to reflect on your relationship? Might you benefit from outside help from a counsellor, a mediator, priest, family friend?

Take time to explore what the triggers are, what happens to spark off the abusive behaviour. Look for help for either or both of you to deal with those issues. It's important to protect yourself and your self-esteem, and perhaps help your abuser too.

Article Source: Ezine Article

 

HABIT YOU MUST PREVENT TO KEEP YOUR TEETH HEALTHY

 Oral diseases affect nearly 3.5 billion people throughout the world. While the prevalence of oral diseases continues to rise in low-income countries, bad teeth are also common across America.

There are a number of factors that can contribute to oral diseases. Without realizing it, you might even have an unhealthy habit that’s causing unhealthy teeth.

Kick the habit! Keep reading to discover the three habits you need to avoid to limit tooth damage. By limiting these bad habits, you can protect your teeth before it’s too late.

Make a positive change by avoiding these three habits that contribute to bad teeth. 

1. Your Diet

When trying to determine what causes bad teeth, first take a look at your diet.

Even the fruit you eat can lead to unhealthy teeth. Fruit has a high sugar content which could lead to bacteria development. Bacteria can lead to tooth decay and dental disease.

In addition to fruit, you could also minimize sodas and sports drinks. Both are highly acidic, which can cause your teeth to erode.

Make sure to visit your dentist every six months. Only 64% of adults have visited the dentist in the past year. Your dentist can help you determine which factors are contributing to your bad teeth. 

In the meantime, try to avoid foods with simple sugars, such as candy and desserts, to limit the amount of acid in your mouth.

2. Your Nails

An unhealthy habit that many people struggle with, nail-biting is bad for your nails and teeth.

Nail-biting will expose your teeth to the bacteria on your fingers. That bacteria can then lead to infection and tooth decay. It can also break down the enamel protecting your teeth.

When enamel breaks down, it makes your teeth weaker. As a result, the position of your teeth will start to shift. 

As your teeth shift, you might experience discomfort. You might want to discuss wisdom teeth removal with your dentist to relieve crowding.

In addition to biting your nails, biting other stuff can have a negative impact on your teeth, too. Avoid biting stubborn bottle caps or letters open. Try to stop biting pens and pencils, too. 

Using your teeth to open certain items can cause tooth damage and breaks.

You could expose your teeth to chips by exerting too much force on them. 

3. Your Toothbrush

The longer you keep your toothbrush, the less effective it will become at protecting your teeth. Make sure to replace your toothbrush at least every six months. If you get sick, replace your brush the moment you’re feeling better.

Otherwise, you could expose your mouth to germs that will make you sick again.

Keeping your toothbrush too long can lead to unhealthy teeth. Make sure to replace your brush as it deteriorates to keep your teeth clean and healthy.

Bite Down on Better Habits to Avoid Bad Teeth

It’s time to kick these bad habits that are causing bad teeth. By replacing these habits with positive ones, you can protect your teeth.

Improve your oral health by avoiding these bad oral habits today.

Thank your reading.

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PLANNING TO GET PREGNANT OR ALREADY PREGNANT: THIS IS FOR YOU

 Amidst the joy of discovering you’re pregnant comes the reality that life will never be the same again. And as you begin this epic journey, take note; sleep will become a precious commodity!

And we’re not just talking about after the baby is born. As your baby bump grows, you’ll probably find it increasingly hard to get comfortable at night.

Here are some tips to help you get a good night’s sleep.

Drink Up, Then Down

Disturbed sleep when you’re pregnant is caused by many factors, including anxiety, hormones, physical discomfort and, most common of all, a constant urge to go to the bathroom.

Whilst it’s important to drink plenty of fluids every day, it’s a good idea to drink less during the afternoon and evening.

Your body is already anxious so filling it with caffeine and spicy foods will only make matters worse. Restrict tea, coffee, chocolate, and fizzy drinks to just one or two a day, and only in the morning.

Watch Those Spicy Foods

Pregnancy changes your entire metabolism so whereas once you could eat chili, curry, and other spicy dishes with no side effects, you may have to forego them for a while.

Pregnancy can make you very prone to indigestion and heartburn. If this is the case, try eating lighter meals, and allow yourself two to three hours to digest before going to bed.

Stick To A Routine

We know, you hate routine, but while you’re pregnant, it may contribute to a better night’s sleep. It will also prepare you for after the baby’s born.

Design yourself a routine that is calming and relaxing before you go to bed. This might include taking a warm shower, enjoying a caffeine-free warm drink, reading a book, or getting a massage.

Get Moving

Discuss a suitable exercise regime with your doctor. It’s good for you and the baby to keep moving, in order to boost circulation, maintain a good weight and avoid those night-time cramps that keep you awake.

But don’t leave it too late in the day. Whilst exercise releases endorphins that make you feel good, it also releases adrenalin, which can ruin a good night’s sleep.

Get A Pregnancy Pillow

One of the biggest sleep problems when you’re pregnant is not being able to find a comfortable position. Because there’s a big baby bump in the way!

Sleeping on your tummy will get progressively more uncomfortable, and many moms fear they will crush their baby.

Sleeping on your back is not recommended, as it puts pressure on your organs, and on one of the body’s major veins. And even if you start out on your side, habit is likely to force you back into your usual sleeping position.

Rest Comfortably

Luckily, there is now a way you can sleep comfortably on your tummy, throughout your pregnancy, with no harm to baby. And that’s a pregnancy pillow.

The pregnancy pillow is a major step forward from the old style maternity pillows, for comfort, safety, and practicality. It is the perfect way to ensure a good night’s sleep or a refreshing daytime nap.

It can also be used to lay outside in the sun and top up that essential Vitamin D, or while enjoying a massage. Best of all, it’s a great way of alleviating back pain, because it takes the pressure off your spine.

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Approved tapeworm drug may offer babies protection from Zika

 

 

U.S. researchers have identified two groups of existing drug compounds that may protect against the devastating fetal effects of the Zika virus. One of those compounds, they detail in a study published Monday in the journal Nature Medicine, is already approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to treat tapeworm.

In their analysis, researchers at Florida State University (FSU), Johns Hopkins University and the National Institutes of Health (NIH) focused on compounds that have the quickest path to clinical use.

“This is a first step toward a therapeutic that can stop transmission of this disease,” study author Hengli Tang, a biological science professor at FSU, said in a news release.

More on this...

• The best drug to fight Zika may already be approved and out there, study suggests

• 3 new cases of local Zika transmission in Florida, officials say

• Zika causes deafness in about 6 percent of cases, study finds

One of the compound groups the group identified stops the Zika virus from replicating, while the other would halt eradication of fetal brain cells. Studies suggest Zika can cause microcephaly, a condition wherein babies are born with partially formed heads, among other possible birth defects.

"It's so dramatic and irreversible," Tang said in the release. "The probability of Zika-induced microcephaly occurring doesn't appear to be that high, but when it does, the damage is horrible."

Researchers screened 6,000 compounds already approved by the FDA or in the process of a clinical trial because they could be made more readily available to patients with Zika.

“It takes years if not decades to develop a new drug," Hongjun Song, a neurology professor at Johns Hopkins and the director of the Stem Cell Program at the university’s Institute for Cell Engineering, said in the release. "In this sort of global health emergency, we don't have time. So instead of using new drugs, we chose to screen existing drugs. In this way, we hope to create a therapy much more quickly."

Why Stroke in Middle Age Is More Deadly for Blacks Than Whites

 A higher stroke rate -- not differences in care after a stroke -- is the reason why middle-aged black Americans are more likely to die from a stroke than whites, a new study suggests.

Researchers reviewed data from almost 30,000 people across the United States. At age 45, blacks were four times more likely to die of stroke than whites. By age 85, stroke death rates were the same for blacks and whites, the study showed.

But while middle-aged blacks were more likely than whites to die from a stroke, there were no black-white differences in the risk of death among stroke survivors, according to the study in the June 2 issue of the journal Stroke.

"The magnitude of public health burden of the racial disparity in stroke is staggering, with an estimated 22,384 'extra' stroke events [occurring in black people in 2014]," study author George Howard, a professor of biostatistics at the University of Alabama at Birmingham School of Public Health, said in a journal news release.

The researchers said their findings show the need to boost efforts to prevent and control stroke risk factors that are more common in blacks, such as high blood pressure and diabetes.

Abortion Rates Rising in Zika-Affected Countries, Study Shows

WEDNESDAY, June 22, 2016 (HealthDay News) -- Fears over birth defects from mosquito-borne Zika may be driving up abortion rates in Latin American countries affected by the virus, a new study finds.

In Brazil and Ecuador -- where governments have issued health warnings on the danger to the fetus from maternal Zika infection -- requests for abortion in 2016 have doubled from 2010 rates, researchers say.

The other 17 Latin American countries covered by the new study had their rates rise by more than a third during that time, according to the June 22 report in the New England Journal of Medicine.

The researchers noted that because data on family planning in Latin America is often hard to come by, their numbers may underestimate the surge in abortions since Zika's emergence.

Their study relied on data from Women on Web, a widely used nonprofit online resource for women seeking abortions in Latin America. The group provides medical abortions for women in countries where safe abortions are not widely available.

"The World Health Organization predicts as many as 4 million Zika cases across the Americas over the next year, and the virus will inevitably spread to other countries," noted study senior author Dr. Catherine Aiken, of the University of Cambridge in England.

"It isn't enough for health officials just to warn women about the risks associated with Zika -- they must also make efforts to ensure that women are offered safe, legal, and accessible reproductive choices," Aiken said in a university news release.

The mosquito-borne Zika virus has struck countries around the world, and travelers have brought it to the U.S. mainland. The American territory of Puerto Rico is facing an especially high risk, potentially placing hundreds of pregnant women in jeopardy of delivering babies with debilitating birth defects.

But no nation has been more affected than Brazil. As a result of the Zika epidemic there, almost 5,000 babies have been born with a devastating birth defect known as microcephaly after their mothers were infected with Zika early in pregnancy.

In microcephaly, a newborn's head is smaller than normal, with the potential for long-term neurological damage.

Just last Friday, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warned that infection rates are rising in Puerto Rico. Testing of blood donations in the U.S. territory -- "our most accurate real-time leading indicator of Zika activity" -- suggest that more and more people on the island have been infected, according to CDC Director Dr. Tom Frieden.

"Based on the best information available, Zika infections appear to be increasing rapidly in Puerto Rico," he said in a media briefing.

"The real importance of this information is that in coming months it's possible that thousands of pregnant women in Puerto Rico could become infected with Zika," he stressed. "This could lead to dozens or hundreds of infants being born with microcephaly in the coming year."

For weeks now, the percentage of blood donations testing positive for Zika has been increasing in Puerto Rico, reaching as high as 1.1 percent for the latest week of reporting, June 5-11, the CDC's Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report indicates.

However, only one in every five people infected with Zika develops any symptoms, making the virus difficult to track.

Zika is typically transmitted via the bite of the Aedes aegypti mosquito.

"Controlling this mosquito is very difficult," Frieden said. "It takes an entire community working together to protect a pregnant woman."

Because the virus remains largely undetected, it will be months before affected babies begin to be born, Frieden said. Some will have microcephaly or other brain-related birth defects. But many will appear healthy and normal, and there's no way to know how they might have been affected, he added.

"We simply don't know, and may not know for years, if there will be long-term consequences on brain development," Frieden said.

No places in the continental United States currently have local transmission of Zika, the CDC said. But one blood bank, the Gulf Coast Regional Blood Center in Houston, has already started screening donations for Zika under the FDA's investigational approval for a screening test for the virus.

The CDC has said it expects to see Zika infections in Gulf Coast states like Florida, Louisiana and Texas as mosquito season heats up.

Mosquito bites remain the typical way Zika is spread. But, transmission of the virus through sex is more common than previously thought, World Health Organizations officials have said.

Women of child-bearing age who live in an active Zika region should protect themselves from mosquitoes by wearing long-sleeved shirts and long pants, using mosquito repellent when outside, and staying indoors as much as possible, according to the CDC.

President Barack Obama has asked Congress to allocate $1.9 billion to combat the Zika threat, but lawmakers have yet to agree on a spending packag

More militants announce ceasefire

More militant groups in the oil-rich Niger Delta region have agreed to embrace peace – This came after the lead by the Niger Delta Avengers, who announced a ceasefire on Saturday – For months, militants in the Niger Delta region have held the nation hostage by destroying oil and gas infrastructure in the region Following the ceasefire announced by the Niger Delta Avengers, other militants in the region have decided to give peace a chance. The Reformed Egbesu Fraternities comprising Egbesu Boys of the Niger Delta, Egbesu Red Water Lions and Egbesu Mightier Fraternity, announced a 60-day ceasefire. Also giving the federal government a chance, another group of fighters, the Iduwini Volunteer Force (IVF), which operates from Bayelsa, said it was quitting the creeks temporarily, This Day reports. 

READ ALSO: NDAvengers ceasefire: 

MEND attacks Clark According to the group, it wanted to give the federal government a chance to meet the demands made by the militants. The group led by Commander Johnson Biboye said: “The leadership of the Iduwini Volunteer Force (IVF), rose from a crucial stakeholders meeting with all its unit commanders and zonal commanders to review the security situation in the Niger Delta vis-a-vis the attacks on oil and gas installations in the oil-rich region of the Niger Delta. “The meeting which started early on Sunday evening, 21st August, 2016 lasted till the early hours of Monday 22nd August, 2016 in one of our creek locations. “And we deliberated extensively on the current security situation in the Niger Delta, the efforts of notable leaders to seek peace and dialogue in resolving the crisis.” The group said after deliberations, it decided to key into the federal government’s desire to ensure that peace prevails in the Niger Delta region. : that all freedom fighting groups in the Niger Delta should embrace peace and cease fire as a mark of honour to the concerted efforts of these our notable leaders in enhancing the peace process,” it added. The IVF warned that any attempt to politicise or derail the peace process would be met with stiff resistance. Militants have been wrecking havoc in the Niger Delta region, vandalizing oil facilities while vowing to cripple the economy. The federal government has been reaching out to them for dialogue but the militants refused any form of negotiations.